In my own naivety I thought that 27 April 1994 was the end of racism in South Africa. In my own naivety I thought that by the year 2019 chauvinism and the patriarch system would have died out. In my own naivety I thought that homophobia would not be as prominent as it still is today. And in my own naivety I thought that the so called “grownups” of the time, will have gained a higher appreciation for the new generations’ thoughts on environmental, social and religious aspects.
I honestly thought that as time and society change, the thinking patterns of the general population would change as well. But I am very well aware that the population is not as diverse as the diversity of the thinking patterns. Even people, who more or less share the same outward appearances, don’t think the same!
I had to remind myself that my way of thinking is not the only way of thinking and that everybody else did not change their thinking the day I adjusted my thinking on social injustice and other issues. I became aware that my pride on my own ability to adapt to times and changes made me intolerant for any different thinking and viewpoints. My own post-modern thinking made me intolerant to any traditional thinking.
I became very much aware that I judge those who judge others.
I became aware that I had to change again…
I have to change my own feelings about any thinking that’s different to mine. Thus I have come to realize that when I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change! I try to see the value of each and every person whose point of view differs from mine. I have come to realize that no point of view has to be wrong for the other to be right. I have come to realize that when we look only at our differences, we will never be able to see what we have in common.
Most of all I have come to realize that when I hold my point of view as the only one for current times, then I have not learned anything or grown to full integration. When I do not stop and listen to others that differ from me, then I do the same as people who do not stop and listen to others who differ from them.
True transformation of social norms is when we do to others what we want others to do to us. I am well aware of how more comfortable it is to communicate with those people who agree with me, compared to the discomfort of those who do not agree with me. But then again, we do not grow where we feel comfortable.
In my own little effort to make the world a better place, I will not only adapt to changes in society, I will also adapt to those who find it difficult to change: to those who hold on to their traditional thinking. I will be a better listener and try to understand others better. I will be more aware of my own feelings, because it is my thinking that influences my feelings, and my feelings influence my behaviour.
My behaviour is what the world sees of me and that is what makes me an acceptable person or not.